Ship of State?

Sail on thou ship of state sail on...
It seems to me you're drifting
Perhaps there's no one left on board
To do the heavy lifting

And if that ship of state breaks down

We’d better get a loan-er

Or else they’ll need to find someone

To play the part of Jonah

Alas, this mighty ship of state
Has proven to be crew-less
I guess, of course, that's apropos
Because the captain's clueless

Seeing likely outcomes
They know his course is reckless
And spotting not a single "feck"
Know likewise that it's feckless

But if you don’t agree then tell me why

The world is willin’
To put their trust in someone
Who resembles a Bond Villain?

And yet the fate of millions

Before we count to ten
Rests upon the efforts
And the skills of these two men

Can they get all this organized

And manage to agree
When one man ran communities
And one the K.G.B.?

Still, I remain an optimist

And I retain my hope
But in this situation
I’m counting on the Pope

Breakfast of Doubt

A question has been plaguing me
So much, I can’t ignore it
Do I oppose “whatever”
Just because Obama’s for it?

I struggle with my attitude
And strive for self-awareness
Because I know my President
Deserves a little fairness

I wish that I were certain

But talk is only talk
If Mitt were in the White House
Then would I be a Hawk?

Would I have listened closely
And say John Kerry sold me
As I was quick to credit
All that Colin Powell told me?

And then an answer hit me

One I suspect is true
The trouble that I’m having
Is really déjà vu

The rattling of sabers

The clumsy road to war
I haven’t lived forever
But I’ve seen all this before

Perhaps I’m far more troubled

That I believed the claim
That THIS administration’s
Not for doing things the same

They told us we should never move

Without United Nations
So why is our Ambassador
On serial vacations?

If every nation understands

Their acts were grim and brutal
Propose a resolution
Even if you think it’s futile

Person’ly I think it would be

Groovy, cool and neato
To bring the world to witness
How the Russians use their veto

Perhaps you missed that lecture

In your Poly Science class
You can work the world on climate change
But not on Poison Gas!?

So…it’s not some regulation

Or this or that appointment
Our failure to do better
Is  my source of disappointment

Hope and Change Revisited

I feel like such a dope
I thought it was the hope
Just like the pundits told us
Our aspirations sold us
But clearly, truth to tell
Hope’s a thing ALL politicians sell

So as involved persuasion

Hope was only part of the equation

And in this double feature

Change is quite a different creature
Now even on vacation
The leader of our nation
Is starting to perceive
Change is somewhat harder to achieve
As scientist all say
An object that’s at rest tends to stay that way
Plus when the dust is cleared
Hope is always welcome
Change is often feared
Sure I want a brand new phone
But I’ll stay in my comfort zone
And seeing what’s occurred
Change has been delayed, waived and deferred
With laws subject to erasure
Change may come…but slower than a glacier
And though the goal was laudable
It’s taking more than hope
To make health care affordable

Words for Thought

A bunch of busy bodies
Have been making much ado
Wondering if Egypt has been
Going through a coup

Setting stunning standards

For deceit and obfuscations
The folks at State determined
Not to make determinations

Auditing the briefing then

The take-away is this
A coup is not a coup
The way a kiss is just a kiss

Of course upon reflection

I now understand completely
A rose is not a rose
And called a fish would smell as sweetly

Folks who study rhetoric

Have rarely seen the same
Backwards bending over
Since Cuomo spoke at Notre Dame

He said to run for office

In the states or jurisdictions
Every Catholic candidate
Should give up their convictions

If you're without convictions, sir

Then pray, consider silence

Or you’ll be saying terrorists
Are plotting workplace violence

Is zeal for wealth and power

So intense and so compelling
They can't show us the poke
Or pig within that they'll be selling?

I don’t ask much of politics

But beg for one thing mainly
Is there a politician who
For once can say things plainly?

Poems I Haven't Posted

Let’s Make a Deal

 

All around the Capitol

Work is being done
To ferret out the truth
And to locate that smoking gun

They’re looking at those bureaucrats

Who silently have served
In hopes that those who scorned the law
Might get what they deserved

If all this has you feeling

Kind of justice-y or kharma-ry
It’s tough to find a single gun
When looking in an armory

The obvious is hard to spot

Consider if you please
That oft repeated adage of
The forest and the trees

There’s truth in that old wisdom

But I’ll put it somewhat newer
It’s tough to see malarkey
When you’re swimming through a sewer

With all the Lois Lernering

And the shoddy Eric Holdering
There is no single smoking gun
The whole darn town is smoldering

But what has me most troubled

Every follicle’s gone grey for it
Crimes have been committed
But no one’s gonna pay for it

Congressmen are shouting

That attention must be paid
But somewhere in a conference room
Deals are being made

I say this very sadly

But I hope it will be quoted
Silence can be purchased
When the guilty are promoted

It’s a pretty practice

That goes right on back to royalty
When baronets and dukedoms
Were a way to garner loyalty

A title is a title

And I guess that should suffice
For Her Ladyship, Ms. Jarrett
And the Countess Susan Rice.

Alphabet Soup

The IRS

Is in a mess
The EPA
Should go away
And I suggest that OSHA
Should be shipped to Nova Scotia

The FBI

Has a black eye
The SSA and DOJ
Don’t seem to know the time of day
And ditto for the CIA

But, you wouldn’t know

And couldn’t guess
If you tuned into CBS
Now, certainly there is no plot
They’re covering these scandals—not
You’d think around these stories all the news hounds
Would be hovering
But it’s the work of Taylor Swift
That Steve Croft has been covering

The FCC

It seems to me
Couldn’t organize a spelling bee
And I won’t eat at a buffet
That’s served up by the FDA
And 2 + 2
I’ll have you know
Is well beyond the CBO

The obvious conclusion

Should make everybody ill at ease
The government has power
Far beyond its capabilities
And power unabated
Always seems to have a way
To slowly but quite surely
Lead the powerful astray

And so I think it’s liable

With hand upon the bi-able
That someday soon the POTUS
Will be tried before the SCOTUS
But the Media…won’t notice

June Gloom

My eyesight has been going

And my hearing’s out of tune
Two things that I commemorate
Every single June

And with each year that passes

I move more like cold molasses

There’s nothing in my closet anymore

That even fits me
The only saves I’m making
Happen when the puck just hits me

My train of thought is popping

Like an old victrola skips
And when I reach the putting green
I find I’ve got the yips.

 The graceful glades of memory

Seem more to me like thickets
And when I climb a stairway
My kneecaps chirp like crickets

My days are full of whining

And my nights are wet with tears
The only hair that’s growing
Is the hair that’s in my ears

The path I took to get here
With cold regret is littered
But still I have to smile
When alternative’s considered

There’s music and there’s beauty
There’s Chablis and guacamole
Hey, you there with a hockey team
Call if you need a goalie

The kid is off to college
It appears I’ll have some free time
Hey, you there at the golf course
What’s it look like for a tee time?

Amen dictu mirabile

My marriage just gets stronger
Hey, you there with that stop watch
Let me run a little longer

For Martin

When I was 8

And far away
Approaching my Communion Day
I’d rush to get my homework done
Then run outside to have some fun
The screen door crashed, I’d yell, “Good-bye.”
My mom didn’t even turn an eye
She’d call out after I was gone,
“Come home when the street lights come on.”

If there was time before the dark

I’d take my bike to Crocheron Park
Where swings and slides and monkey bars
Became my rocket ship to Mars
With Bruce and Ray and Jim and Bill
We’d race our bikes down Crocheron Hill

It was a rush

And quite a thrill
I wish that kids could do that still

For in the world that we’ve devised

No kids can play unsupervised
No one is safe from shrill alarms
Not even in their mothers’ arms
 
I saw the pictures of the boy
Another parent’s pride and joy
That toothless smile was quite a beaut
And proud in his Communion suit
How does he fit into the plan
This little Boston Bruins fan?
A sweet boy as those pictures show you
Martin, we’ll never get to know you

My son is 18, he’s not 8

The world I give him is not great
This prayer I pray with every letter
May his generation

Make it better.

That Sinking Feeling

The greatest fear we face each day
Is dealing with “not knowing”
Which one of us would board a bus
Unsure of where it’s going?

For fortune’s cord is never straight

It coils, twists and bends
And so it’s up to poets
To identify the trends

When I announce the path I see

You might think I’ve been drinking
But I conclude our next ordeal
Is clearly global sinking

A bedroom floor’s an open door
A fairway filled with clover
A sidewalk near the Senate
Sees the sinkholes taking over

And oh!  The implications!
And they really are profound
You have no leg to stand on
And can’t even trust the ground

They drop you to the poorhouse

And send your wealth to debtland
When someone from the EPA
Declares the hole a wetland

The soil is getting softer

The crust is clearly cracking
And sure as shoot some institute
Will blame it all on fracking

For me that explanation seems

A little hard to swallow
To put the blame of fraking?
Well, it rings a little hollow

When there’s not much to count on

When every soul is straying
In times like these, uncertainties
May soon lead more to praying

Don’t let such insecurity and doubt

Somehow defeat you
In the words of that old Irish prayer
May the road rise up to greet you.

Truth or Consequences

In times like these
Before you sneeze
The media goes looking
For gals and guys
Cuts victimize
And that’s who Maddow’s booking

Like average Joes

I’ve watched these shows
Those broadcast and those buffered
Awaiting scads
Of Moms and Dads
Who, all this week, have suffered

The long parades

Of teachers’ aides
Afraid of being furloughed
The countryscapes
Of rotting grapes
That never will be Merlot-ed

The crises feared

Have not appeared
I guess we must have licked ‘em
Except for prides
Of White House Guides
Am I the only victim?

My lips are blue

My tongue is too
My sinuses congested
And hungry bugs
Attacked my rugs
My base boards are infested

They’ve slowed the courts
They’ve starched my shorts
There’s no gas for my mower
And chances are
I won’t fly far
My sinkhole’s sinking lower

I like my fork

In roasted pork
If budget cuts get bigger
They’ll be no swine
I’ll have to dine
On Mr. Ed and Trigger

To paraphrase

Judge Stewart’s phrase
You’ll know one when you see one
I’ve never stood
For Victimhood
But I guess I must be one

My vision’s vague

I’ve caught the plague
My boils all are festering
My back is out
I’ve got the gout
All thanks to the sequestering
(by Tarzana Job)

Send an Epistle

When I come home from working

I question, without fail
“How then, was your day dear?”
And “What came in the mail?”

And even back in college

Oh, when the world was wider
I checked my post box daily
If just to feed the spider

Each day with expectations

My weary way, I’d wend
Hoping I would find there
A letter from a friend

And when a note or package

Appeared there without warning
I’d tear the thing apart
Just like a kid on Christmas morning

And still anticipation

In some enduring way
Makes me hope and wonder
“What came for me today?”

For when the words were written

When I couldn’t hear or see
Somehow someone somewhere
Was thinking about me

If bills and pills and notices

Are so anticipated
Think of how, in hunger
Corinthians must have waited.

They came by road or wagon
By stealth beyond detection
Words of Wisdom Comfort Love
Assurance and Direction

And when in Rome or Ephesus

They greeted it’s arriving
It meant the word was growing
And the message was surviving

And if today you think good news
Is seldom ever heard
Take your pen in hand with me
And, gently, spread the word

Redistributing Government

We all just got a lesson
From those folks who make the game work
Have a couple meetings
Then announce you have a framework

They launch a little vessel
Then step back as it goes drifting
Leaving it to someone else
To do the heavy lifting

Start a new bureaucracy
And pass a few more laws
Totally ignoring both
The problem and the cause

The government’s enormous
And its growth just can’t be slowed
Any one that’s tried to
Has been told to hit the road

So if our sober senate’s unprepared to set the tone
I’d like to entertain you with a framework of my own

My plan should get attention for its excellence and rareness
Seeing as it’s based almost entirely on fairness
By reading daily papers you should know it’s not surprising
That just outside the capital, all real estate is rising
It’s only in the beltway loop that unemployment’s rare
And any good Progressive must agree that’s less than fair

Because there’s so much wealth embedded in the institution
I say our central government could use redistribution
My plan is very simple and in it’s essence states
That cabinet departments should be shipped out to the states

All those hefty sal’ries can be moved to your community
Denying the nefarious one target opportunity

Then everyone in Michigan would sure be sitting pretty
If we moved Transportation out there to the Motor City

Commerce to Chicago and Defense should move to Texas
So everyone in Dallas could afford a second Lexus.

It’s not exaggeration and it isn’t any joke
It’s just the only way to fix a government that’s broke
It may seem kind of crazy but this is how I figger’
The one thing that it’s good at…is making itself bigger

Answering the Call

 

Just about the time Joe Flacco’s touchdown pass was thrown

My focus was distracted by the ringing of the phone

I said, “Please hold the wire,” but the voice would brook no stalling

“Hello,” he said, “The National Republicans are calling.”

I turned back to the game because I didn’t want to miss it.

What genius at the RNC chose this time to solicit?

I told him that his timing could have used a little tweaking

It didn’t seem to matter ‘cause the guy went right on speaking

I didn’t want to holler and I didn’t mean to scold him

This “expletive deleted” is precisely what I told him

I live in California where the call of fortune’s taken me

So tell me why my party has entirely forsaken me?

Abandoning the Golden State—there’s nothing that’s insaner…

I told him that I’d like to have a word with Mr. Boehner

I told him if they needed help I’d send them both a map

He said he’d wake the Speaker who was busy with his nap

A Speaker should be speaking which I wanted to remind him…

The guy picked up the line and sadly said he couldn’t find him.

The Leadership I want leads from the front—like Dolly Parton

They shouldn’t be missing persons on the side of some milk carton

I want to stay Republican…but if I had my druthers
I’d like to have the Party managed by the Harbaugh brothers.

All the men who’ve medaled
Or celebrities who’ve danced
Seems to me that every one’s
Augmented or enhanced

Artists that we idolized
And athletes that we trusted
Every single one of them
Eventually gets busted

Runners who had stumbled
And who barely could complete
Suddenly are posting times
Alongside the elite

Pitchers who had lost it
All at once regain their form
What was once anathema
Has now become the norm

Many who’ve observed this trend
Have spent their time lamenting
I, like Huey Lewis think
That we should be inventing

Grants should be extended
Yes, and mountains must be moved
For there is one profession
That could stand to be improved

I’ve set some lofty goals
But the most urgent of my missions
Performance enhancing drugs
For politicians

A chemical concoction
They could swallow or inject
To help them build biographies
Deserving of respect

A pill that stops the vocal cords
Pronouncing words, uncouth
A potion that’s effective at
Eliciting the truth

Something so they don’t appear
Like loads of old Malarkey
Countering their urge to be
So petulant and snarky

We all need this new medicine
Without pause or delayment
I know it may be pricey
But I’ll cover the co-payment

Debate

I have advice to offer
And I hope it’s not too late
For anyone who finds himself
Involved in a debate

These are not the tactics
Used by those who twist and spin
But put them into practice
It’s a decent bet you’ll win

Skills I learned in High School
And see how far they’ve brought me
Built upon the lessons
That old Fr. Gerry taught me

LISTEN to the question
And answer it directly
Plain talk keeps you way ahead
Of speaking circumspectly

Wrap your words around the truth
At least try staying near it
Everybody knows a fabrication
When they hear it

Don’t let your simple statements
Metastasize like cancers
You’ll win some people over
By just giving one word answers

When your opponent mocks your plan
Here’s how you can get through it
When he says it can’t be done
You say, “Just watch me do it”

When he pooh poohs the price of gas
You say, “This much is sure
Until we all get hybrids
It’s a tax right on the poor.

When he keeps touting health care
Make this your parting shot
Massachusetts wanted it
America did not
Just be the man you know you are
That’s how a bully’s schooled
Despite how we might like to be
Not everyone is fooled.

No Debate About It

There must have been some network payoffs
To put a chat on jobs and layoffs
Up against the baseball playoffs

Then some conniving double dealers

(And you know what they do to squealers)
Scheduled the Pittsburgh Steelers

With one man known to gaffe and botch

Did they want anyone to watch?

I watched; although I had a hunch

There wouldn’t be a knockout punch

Here a jab and there a poke

Every time Joe Biden spoke
He said from 6 to 7:30
We’re for clean and you’re for dirty
We’re for sunshine, you’re for rain
We’re for pleasure, you’re for pain

We’re for flavored, you’re for plain
(The man is driving me insane)

What he says in certain spots

Has me all tied up in knots
I need my chiropractor to adjust me
Every time the guy says, “Trust me”

Say what you want of what he lacks
Old Joe can sure make up his facts
No church will pay for contraception
Libya was no deception
Recovery is all perception

Now that the staff has spun and turned

Is there anything we’ve learned
If there’s one take, this is it
No one out there’s going to quit
So put your boots back on the ground
This fight will go another round

SURPRISE

No matter what smooth strategies

Each candidate devises
It’s certain that October’s good
For one or two surprises

The nominees debated

And I’m sure each man rehearsed
But judging from the outcome
I guess we’ve just seen the first

The President’s supporters

All seem angry or perplexed
Which makes me apprehensive
Over what surprise comes next

Some striking piece of business

Which will make Chris Matthews thrill again
Too bad there’s no Bid Laden hiding
Seals could go and kill again

No diplomatic crisis solved

By using secret channels
No factory to open
For producing solar panels

The spinners and the shouters

Will be pumping up their lungs
I wouldn’t be amazed
To hear Joe Biden speak in tongues

Although I can’t predict it

I’m convinced and so believe
The man who’s the incumbent
Must have something up his sleeve

Regardless, his supporters

Should retain their calm and be level
I’ve heard the next debate
Is being held closer to sea level

The Week that Was

To make sense

Of the week’s events
I like to do my part
But thinking of
The week that was
I don’t know where to start

The debt is not

A short term threat
The President opined
So much so that
The sum we owe
Has sort of slipped his mind

Well if you have a master plan

I think that you should go for it
But when you spend a trillion bucks
You should have stuff to show for it

Unemployment’s stuck on eight

We’re now a food stamp nation
His major disappointment though?
Too little immigration
 
His treatment of some
Heads of state
Has made observers irate
Instead of meeting  face to face
He’s talking like a pirate
 
Romney may seem cautious
Speak while sitting on the fence
But sound bites from the White House
Simply don’t make any sense

Every politician has

A trust side and a doubt side
But few express
An eagerness
To change things from the outside

Chicago politicians caved

And teachers stopped their strike
Free speech is protected
That’s if it’s speech we like

But nothing mentioned heretofore

Upstaged the main event
A fact that may be noticed
By the 53 per cent

Our embassies are under siege

Our safe houses are burning
He said he had a lot to learn
I guess that he’s still learning

Eleven Years Without Them

As if we need to be reminded

As if our hearts were somehow blinded
As if each plane that I see fly
Light and faultless in the sky
Isn’t carrying the souls
Of Beemer and the boys
Who left their seats to save us

They didn’t obey the blinking sign

Pretending everything was fine
Waiting for the sanctions

As if every visitor to New York doesn’t wonder

And lining up without our shoes
And belts
And pocket change
We know why we’re waiting

As if we need a reason to remember
As if the date is not a scar
On each bright stripe and star

They set our flag on fire?

Then we should hoist it higher

 But we still think before we speak

Because we should; our mothers said so
And then we speak; because we must
For no one knows better what we have to say

And if I sin for what I say

Then lock me up in Bedlam
It is the safest place
In a world gone mad.

As if…

JOBS, JOBS, JOBS

I sing the lives of working men

And working women too
A song of celebration for
The many things they do

The steel, the saw

The plow, the plane
The pencil and the chalk
The resolute commuter
And the lucky few who walk
 

The drill, the wrench

The brush, the broom
The ruler and the rake
The fairly few who conjure
And the many hands that make

The brew, the bread

The rock, the brick
The mortar and the mix

The powerful who fashion

And the delicate who fix

The shovel and the hammer
The keyboard and the mouse
And even those who labor
In the Senate and the House

I sing them all

A chorus hall
In harmony and unity
May God grant each

And every one

A little opportunity

Long Range Forecast

Gather round and lend an ear

While I explain the reason

Everything you’ve seen so far

Hasmerely been pre-season

 

If you believed campaigning

Has been rough through certain patches

From here until November

Better batten down the hatches

 

The ocean level’s rising

And the water table’s warming

So something prime and powerful

Is clearly out there forming

 

The man and the machinery

Are just about converging

Telling me tomorrow that

A wave will soon be surging

 

Despite the demographics

That the pollsters are pursuing

Over the horizon, folks

A hurricane is brewing

 

A righteous revolution

That no force on earth can damper

The Republican Convention

Is about to start in Tampa

 

I’ve never been too clever

Either fiscally or stock wise

But I know the tide is turning

And it’s moving counter-clockwise

 

Well, I may be too hopeful

Or I just may be mistaken

But I see a few surprises

When the final vote is taken

 

For in every five-day forecast

Slings and arrows are the norm

Whatever comes this weekend’s

Just the calm before the storm.

Tarzan (not me) turns 100

I’m just an average Joe

A simple, good hard-working guy

I run the daily rat race

In a pin-striped suit and tie

But like so many dreamers

From Poughkeepsie to Des Moines

I’m swinging through the jungle

With a cloth around my loins

I speak the jungle language

With its roars and growls and yelps

I’m twice as fast as Usain Bolt

And swim past Michael Phelps

My eyes can pierce the darkness

My muscles?  Iron bands.

I fight the mighty lion

With just my two bare hands

I fear no fellow creature

While I howl at the moon

The chimps I know are loyal

And the Janes around me swoon

My life’s an epic story

With adventures and escapes

Thanks to Edgar Burroughs

I am Tarzan of the Apes

It’s for this fellow’s birthday

That this ode I have been singing

Here’s to the Earl of Greystoke

And 100 years of swinging

I fear sometimes we’ve lost those

Creature instincts that might guide us

But deep in all our spirits

Part of Tarzan is inside us

He’s fierce and strong and noble

Kind and just and wild and pure

Let’s hope what’s best in him

In us, continues to endure

Trust Me on This

As the Obama Speech was not well received even by the mainstream media, strangely, the White House has reached out to me to put a little rhyme into his reasoning.

Here’s what I’ve come up with. I wonder if they’ll like it.

I ran to bring the middle class

A future warm and sunny

To give you all that you deserve

I’ll have to take your money

The best economists agree

The science has been settled

In four more years along this path

The path will be rose-petalled

Some may suggest another way

But let’s all quit pretending

The way to lower deficits

Is drunken-sailor spending

I know you’ve heard some guarantees

And even more reneging

The hole is getting deeper

But I say let’s just keep digging

To learn from our reversals

Is a quest not worth pursuing

We know what caused the crisis

It’s all George Bush’s doing

The downturn of 2008

We Democrats can fix

The way we made things better

When we won 2006

So live life by the lesson

So pervasive this town

When what you’ve tried is failing

That’s the time to double down

I’m certain as I’ve ever been

At least there’s not much doubt there

I’m sure if we look hard enough

There’s more Solyndra’s out there

I have a plan that can not fail

To get this country cooking

The unemployment rate will drop

If more of you stop looking

I know my term has been defined

By blood and sweat and tears

But I promise you the future

If you give me four more years