The USS New York
Not just the steel
The fearless raised and dared to cross
Astonishing the world
With beauty and bravado
Not just the steel
That stood for life and trade and peace
That greeted all
Who came to see the city and the Lady
The Lady stood with steel
And steel behind her stood
Shielding and upholding
Both flag and freedom from its towers
Not just the steel
That fell that day
Twisted and confused by hate
A melting monument
To chaos and to evil
Not just the steel
That frantic Hands tore back
To find a breathing bit of life
Or carried off still warm
Still glowing and still ready
Not just the steel
But every molecule of hope and soul and hand
Was resurrected and remade in her
The USS New York
Held up by waves of fire
Sailing with the mssing
To bring
without fear or anger
Justice
(c) 2009 by Tarzana Joe
Friday, November 6, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Another Health Care Poem, Oy!
The cork's been popped
The bubble burst
The leaky ship has sailed
Pelosi's Health proposal
Has finally been unveiled
It's better than the last one
It fixes all that's wrong
It must be twice as potent
Because the thing is twice as long
Of course, it reads like fiction
That Nancy's quite a plotter
She wraps the whole thing up in 20 pages less than all of
Harry Potter
That Bible on my bureau?
The work of countless sages
Its wisdom is contained in less than 1900
Pages
She fills the presentation
With paradox sublime
She spends 900 billion but it doesn't cost a
Dime
That's nonsense and its bunkum
And put in plainest prose
This transparent grab for power is
The Emperor's New Clothes
There's nothing there that's useful
There's nothing there that's wise
The only thing it covers is a multitude of
Lies
OK, it boosts employment
With each patient, an employer
Cause every office visit will require its own
Lawyer
I'll leave it to the pundits
To filter through and sift it
The darn thing is so massive it's a wonder they can
Lift it
The cork's been popped
The bubbles burst
The leaky ship has sailed
Pelosi's Health proposal
Has finally been unveiled
(c) 2009 by Tarzana Joe
The bubble burst
The leaky ship has sailed
Pelosi's Health proposal
Has finally been unveiled
It's better than the last one
It fixes all that's wrong
It must be twice as potent
Because the thing is twice as long
Of course, it reads like fiction
That Nancy's quite a plotter
She wraps the whole thing up in 20 pages less than all of
Harry Potter
That Bible on my bureau?
The work of countless sages
Its wisdom is contained in less than 1900
Pages
She fills the presentation
With paradox sublime
She spends 900 billion but it doesn't cost a
Dime
That's nonsense and its bunkum
And put in plainest prose
This transparent grab for power is
The Emperor's New Clothes
There's nothing there that's useful
There's nothing there that's wise
The only thing it covers is a multitude of
Lies
OK, it boosts employment
With each patient, an employer
Cause every office visit will require its own
Lawyer
I'll leave it to the pundits
To filter through and sift it
The darn thing is so massive it's a wonder they can
Lift it
The cork's been popped
The bubbles burst
The leaky ship has sailed
Pelosi's Health proposal
Has finally been unveiled
(c) 2009 by Tarzana Joe
Friday, October 23, 2009
Bad Calls
Bad Calls
© 2009 by Tarzana Joe
Some teams, they get the garlands
And some teams get their lumps
And those that take the losses
Often blame it on the umps
Unless I’m quite mistaken
This, more than former Falls
Has seen a certain surplus
Of quite questionable calls
The fans in Minnesota
They all quote Shakespeare there
Like Macbeth, they know
That fair is foul and foul is fair
And down in Athens, Georgia
They sure know who to blame
A penalty that never was
Just cost their Dawgs a game
Oh! Just like Justice
Refs are blind!
The cloth of Fairness ravels
Manny never takes a strike
And Kobe never travels
I say this most sincerely
My friends, my fans, my brothers
While all bad calls are awful
Some sure are worse than others
The baddest of the bad ones
If I may share my views
Is one the White House braintrust made
To battle with Fox News
Every day they protest
In words both crass and callow
Whining makes the whiner look
Poor and weak and shallow
Sun Tzu told his master
Know when you begin
Never fight a war
That gains you nothing if you win
Take a moment’s measure
Use that mighty brain
Even if you conquer
Tell me what you think you’d gain
Yes, even if you triumphed
And a network lay destroyed
Drudge and Breitbart—Hugh and I
Would quickly fill the void
So focus on YOUR message
Think WHAT and WHY and HOW
And that’s the lesson you could learn
From good old Chariman Mao
© 2009 by Tarzana Joe
Some teams, they get the garlands
And some teams get their lumps
And those that take the losses
Often blame it on the umps
Unless I’m quite mistaken
This, more than former Falls
Has seen a certain surplus
Of quite questionable calls
The fans in Minnesota
They all quote Shakespeare there
Like Macbeth, they know
That fair is foul and foul is fair
And down in Athens, Georgia
They sure know who to blame
A penalty that never was
Just cost their Dawgs a game
Oh! Just like Justice
Refs are blind!
The cloth of Fairness ravels
Manny never takes a strike
And Kobe never travels
I say this most sincerely
My friends, my fans, my brothers
While all bad calls are awful
Some sure are worse than others
The baddest of the bad ones
If I may share my views
Is one the White House braintrust made
To battle with Fox News
Every day they protest
In words both crass and callow
Whining makes the whiner look
Poor and weak and shallow
Sun Tzu told his master
Know when you begin
Never fight a war
That gains you nothing if you win
Take a moment’s measure
Use that mighty brain
Even if you conquer
Tell me what you think you’d gain
Yes, even if you triumphed
And a network lay destroyed
Drudge and Breitbart—Hugh and I
Would quickly fill the void
So focus on YOUR message
Think WHAT and WHY and HOW
And that’s the lesson you could learn
From good old Chariman Mao
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Night After Night
Night after Night
By Tarzana Joe
Each and every Autumn
Defying rhyme or reason
The folks who run the networks
Announce a new Fall Season
They promise innovation
And shows with fresh perspective
But all that they deliver
Is another cheap detective
And starting this September
The promos proudly shriek
A popular performer
Is on five nights a week
Now how can I express this
With words approaching tact?
This kind of saturation
Is such a tired act
Of course the public loves him
Likewise, of him I sing
But overdoses come from
Too much of a good thing
I know he’s top banana
The Leader of the Pack
But every single time I look
He’s right there staring back
Some nights I’d like a ballgame
Or scintillating drama
But all the networks give me…
Is President Obama
On Monday, he's on Letterman
And Sunday, Meet the Press
Thursday, he’ll be sewing
Heidi Klum’s new runway dress
He’s going on Survivor
And Jeopardy and then
He’s starring with Joe Biden
On One and a Half Men
To headline “Law and Order”
I hear he has a “go-see”
On Dancing with the Stars
He’s dancing with Pelosi
If I were his advisor
I’d tell him if I could
Enough of you is plenty
Too much is just no good.
(c) 2009 Tarzana Joe
By Tarzana Joe
Each and every Autumn
Defying rhyme or reason
The folks who run the networks
Announce a new Fall Season
They promise innovation
And shows with fresh perspective
But all that they deliver
Is another cheap detective
And starting this September
The promos proudly shriek
A popular performer
Is on five nights a week
Now how can I express this
With words approaching tact?
This kind of saturation
Is such a tired act
Of course the public loves him
Likewise, of him I sing
But overdoses come from
Too much of a good thing
I know he’s top banana
The Leader of the Pack
But every single time I look
He’s right there staring back
Some nights I’d like a ballgame
Or scintillating drama
But all the networks give me…
Is President Obama
On Monday, he's on Letterman
And Sunday, Meet the Press
Thursday, he’ll be sewing
Heidi Klum’s new runway dress
He’s going on Survivor
And Jeopardy and then
He’s starring with Joe Biden
On One and a Half Men
To headline “Law and Order”
I hear he has a “go-see”
On Dancing with the Stars
He’s dancing with Pelosi
If I were his advisor
I’d tell him if I could
Enough of you is plenty
Too much is just no good.
(c) 2009 Tarzana Joe
Friday, September 11, 2009
For Mark
4 Questions
Spring will never come again
No April without pain
Each April the Emancipator's
Slain
Mothers, will there ever
Be a Sunday in December
When your sons will not
Remember Remember
November never passes
Until I shed a tear
Year after Year after Year
And never in September
Will I look into the sky
Unless I ask the question
Why Why Why Why
(c) 2009 Tarzana Joe
Spring will never come again
No April without pain
Each April the Emancipator's
Slain
Mothers, will there ever
Be a Sunday in December
When your sons will not
Remember Remember
November never passes
Until I shed a tear
Year after Year after Year
And never in September
Will I look into the sky
Unless I ask the question
Why Why Why Why
(c) 2009 Tarzana Joe
Saturday, September 5, 2009
The Pledge
I PLEDGE to be of service to my community
I PLEDGE to oppose anything that threatens the earth
I PLEDGE to fight the unseen terrorism of plastic water bottles
I PLEDGE to support the right of convicted terrorists to die comfortably In their own beds
I PLEDGE (if I am an Average American) to cheerfully pay as taxes to my government everything I earn from January 1 to April 13
I PLEDGE to donate everything else I have to Charley Rangel
I PLEDGE to look the other way when supporters of Euthanasia, legal standing for animals in our courts, tax cheats and 9/11 Truthers are appointed to top White House jobs without Congressional approval
I PLEDGE to stand side by side with the International Community and ignore North Korea and Iran and attack Honduras if asked
I PLEDGE to buy Government Motors cars once they start making them in China
I PLEDGE never to impose upon this administration the subtle bigotry of high expectations
And when my bones are weary
And useless to this nation
I PLEDGE my all to help decrease the surplus population
I PLEDGE to thee, Obama
But if some questions linger
In proof of my deep loyalty
I’ll bite off my own finger
And in the fields of fairness
I pledge to be a weeder
I pledge to be of service
To our Beloved Leader
I PLEDGE to oppose anything that threatens the earth
I PLEDGE to fight the unseen terrorism of plastic water bottles
I PLEDGE to support the right of convicted terrorists to die comfortably In their own beds
I PLEDGE (if I am an Average American) to cheerfully pay as taxes to my government everything I earn from January 1 to April 13
I PLEDGE to donate everything else I have to Charley Rangel
I PLEDGE to look the other way when supporters of Euthanasia, legal standing for animals in our courts, tax cheats and 9/11 Truthers are appointed to top White House jobs without Congressional approval
I PLEDGE to stand side by side with the International Community and ignore North Korea and Iran and attack Honduras if asked
I PLEDGE to buy Government Motors cars once they start making them in China
I PLEDGE never to impose upon this administration the subtle bigotry of high expectations
And when my bones are weary
And useless to this nation
I PLEDGE my all to help decrease the surplus population
I PLEDGE to thee, Obama
But if some questions linger
In proof of my deep loyalty
I’ll bite off my own finger
And in the fields of fairness
I pledge to be a weeder
I pledge to be of service
To our Beloved Leader
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Keep Tarzana Joe Conservative
The National Endowment for the Arts organized a conference call of "leading artists" and urged them to be part of the solution. These artists were, of course, those who had received grants from the NEA before and the unspoken suggestion was that if they wanted to keep getting paid for making sculptures out of meatballs, those meatball sculptures should support Cap and Trade and Health Care Reform. The call is seductive. I'm sure I could write an epic-ode-sonnett devoted to controlling carbon dioxide emissions. So please! Donate Fifty Cents to keep Tarzana Joe Conservative!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Why wasn't I asked????
Click on the title above to find out how The National Endowment for the Arts is about to become The Department of Propaganda. Let a thousand flowers wither!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Ten for Tark
My host Hugh Hewitt has decided to turn the pressure up on Harry Reid by asking those who oppose Obamacare to donate to Reid's one declared opponent for his senate seat. Danny Tarkanian. Click on "Ten for Tark" above and you can too!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
I Would Shop at Whole Foods (if I could afford it)
I don't know John Mackey from Adam Sandler. He may have committed as many crimes as John Edwards. The last checker who swiped my Paypal at Whole Foods had more metal sticking out of her than the dart board at my local pub. But a man has a right to his opinions. The outcry of the t-shirt left to John MacKey's Wall Street op-ed on Health Reform is amazing, overdone, ridiculous, and misguided. I shop at Whole Foods when I am flush with cash...and that means rarely. However, I think I'm going to buy a chuck of Brie or a hunk of dark chocholate or a bottle of bacteria for my intestines from the good people at Whole Foods. It will cost me, but it's one line I want to cross.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
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