Sep 23, 2009

Night After Night

Night after Night
By Tarzana Joe

Each and every Autumn
Defying rhyme or reason
The folks who run the networks
Announce a new Fall Season

They promise innovation
And shows with fresh perspective
But all that they deliver
Is another cheap detective

And starting this September
The promos proudly shriek
A popular performer
Is on five nights a week

Now how can I express this
With words approaching tact?
This kind of saturation
Is such a tired act

Of course the public loves him
Likewise, of him I sing
But overdoses come from
Too much of a good thing

I know he’s top banana
The Leader of the Pack
But every single time I look
He’s right there staring back

Some nights I’d like a ballgame
Or scintillating drama
But all the networks give me…
Is President Obama

On Monday, he's on Letterman
And Sunday, Meet the Press
Thursday, he’ll be sewing
Heidi Klum’s new runway dress

He’s going on Survivor
And Jeopardy and then
He’s starring with Joe Biden
On One and a Half Men

To headline “Law and Order”
I hear he has a “go-see”
On Dancing with the Stars
He’s dancing with Pelosi

If I were his advisor
I’d tell him if I could
Enough of you is plenty
Too much is just no good.
(c) 2009 Tarzana Joe

Sep 11, 2009

For Mark

4 Questions

Spring will never come again
No April without pain
Each April the Emancipator's

Mothers, will there ever
Be a Sunday in December
When your sons will not
Remember Remember

November never passes
Until I shed a tear
Year after Year after Year

And never in September
Will I look into the sky
Unless I ask the question
Why Why Why Why

(c) 2009 Tarzana Joe

Sep 5, 2009

The Pledge

I PLEDGE to be of service to my community
I PLEDGE to oppose anything that threatens the earth
I PLEDGE to fight the unseen terrorism of plastic water bottles
I PLEDGE to support the right of convicted terrorists to die comfortably In their own beds
I PLEDGE (if I am an Average American) to cheerfully pay as taxes to my government everything I earn from January 1 to April 13
I PLEDGE to donate everything else I have to Charley Rangel
I PLEDGE to look the other way when supporters of Euthanasia, legal standing for animals in our courts, tax cheats and 9/11 Truthers are appointed to top White House jobs without Congressional approval
I PLEDGE to stand side by side with the International Community and ignore North Korea and Iran and attack Honduras if asked
I PLEDGE to buy Government Motors cars once they start making them in China
I PLEDGE never to impose upon this administration the subtle bigotry of high expectations

And when my bones are weary
And useless to this nation
I PLEDGE my all to help decrease the surplus population

I PLEDGE to thee, Obama
But if some questions linger
In proof of my deep loyalty
I’ll bite off my own finger

And in the fields of fairness
I pledge to be a weeder
I pledge to be of service
To our Beloved Leader