Tarzan (not me) turns 100

I’m just an average Joe

A simple, good hard-working guy

I run the daily rat race

In a pin-striped suit and tie

But like so many dreamers

From Poughkeepsie to Des Moines

I’m swinging through the jungle

With a cloth around my loins

I speak the jungle language

With its roars and growls and yelps

I’m twice as fast as Usain Bolt

And swim past Michael Phelps

My eyes can pierce the darkness

My muscles?  Iron bands.

I fight the mighty lion

With just my two bare hands

I fear no fellow creature

While I howl at the moon

The chimps I know are loyal

And the Janes around me swoon

My life’s an epic story

With adventures and escapes

Thanks to Edgar Burroughs

I am Tarzan of the Apes

It’s for this fellow’s birthday

That this ode I have been singing

Here’s to the Earl of Greystoke

And 100 years of swinging

I fear sometimes we’ve lost those

Creature instincts that might guide us

But deep in all our spirits

Part of Tarzan is inside us

He’s fierce and strong and noble

Kind and just and wild and pure

Let’s hope what’s best in him

In us, continues to endure