I Wish I was a Congressman in D.C.

I want to be a Congressman
I want to oh so bad
I hear it is the best job
Any person ever had

I will be so focused
I’ll start right now, today
Assembling credentials
To fill out my resume

And this will be the method
That daily I pursue
I’ll do the very things that I’ve heard
Congresspersons do

I’ll make a lot of money first
But won’t pay any taxes
And then I’ll take some photos
Where I’m not wearing my slacks-es

I’ll obfuscate and prattle
To hide my true beliefs
But let the country know
If I wear boxer shorts or briefs

I’ll write some regulations
And say that I’m all for ‘em
But in my private life
You know that I’ll ignore ‘em

I’ll get myself a roommate
A fine upstanding fellow
Then let him use my condo
To run a nice bordello

I’ll live the Life of Reilly
Just like a little Caesar
And if I’m short on money
I’ll just reach into my freezer.

I want to be a Congressman
I want to oh so bad
I hear it is the best job
Any person ever had