If you need me to exhort you
To get on out and vote
Then you’re not paying attention
Or you didn’t get the note
The issues are titanic
And the moment is immense
So vote early and vote often
If you folks have any sense
Instead of the election, friends
The subject that I choose
Is the most amazing story
I encountered in the news
For the duty of a poet
If my patron will allow
Is to see into the future
Out beyond the here and now
This week’s great revelation
Which surpasses any issue
Kleenex introduces
The roll-less toilet tissue
Now before discerning users
Criticize the stuff or pan it
Please understand this product
Is designed to save the planet
While this kind of innovation
Might be lost on average Joes
It is hailed as messianic
By you fans of Sheryl Crow’s
For humanity is threatened
And the cosmic claxon tolls
From the danger that’s presented
By those little cardboard roll
And this is just the vanguard
Of a trend that I see startin’
Why, soon they’ll all be selling
Quarts of milk without the carton
So all of you progressives
No matter how you’re feeling
After the election
Rest assured the planet’s healing
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