A Poem of Miracles

I didn’t believe in miracles
The Red Sea never parted
And Joshua didn’t stop the sun
Oh, please don’t get me started
Noah never floated
And Jonah did no sinking
And anyone who said they did…
I’d ask what they were drinking

But recent happy outcomes
Both sudden and sublime
Have caused this sorry skeptic
To think a second time
There’s been a realignment
This week while I’ve been nappin’
The stars are shining brighter
And anything can happen

Although I’m growing older
My glove-hand will get quicker
Those thin grey hairs upon my head
Will darken and grow thicker
The pages in my diary
Will humble Warren Beatty
And playing from the blue tees
This duffer will break eighty

Yes, wondrous things can come to pass
That haven’t in a while
Al Gore admits it’s all a hoax
And Harry Reid will smile
The White House, in a few short years
Will have a brand new tenant
And sometime in this century
The Tribe will win a pennant.

A smile of satisfaction
Has just replaced my frown
For this and other miracles
I thank you Mr. Brown

The Future is Mine by Tarzana Joe

I wish that all those Mayan guys

Had been a lot less cryptic

So I could make precise-er plans

For times apocalyptic



Their P.D.A.s were made of stone

And should have had the power

To tell me more than just the year

Likewise, the day and hour



Considering the many things

The Mayan prophet teaches

I'd like to know to what extent

This cataclysm reaches



But nowadays I tend to doubt

Such certainty exists

For prophesies (like health care bills)

Are shrouded in the mists



So here's what I propose to do

Despite what they predict

And when you hear it you'll agree

I've got the future licked



I'll summer in Nebraska

Where I know the weather's great

And then I'll spend my winters

In the southern Sunshine State



And when I need a respite I'll

Abandon my cabana

And take a cruise to the bayous

Of sweet Louisiana



And though I'm not real talented

Or even very skilled

I'll join a labor union or

Perhaps the Writers' Guild



Although I haven't read the bill

According to the scholars

If I do this, the Democrats

Owe me...a BILLION DOLLARS

A Poem for Glen From Texas

A Poem for Glen from Texas

Let’s get this Rodeo going
Just listen to that crowd
They’re ready. They’re ready.
The bull riders are finally finished
Now, put me on a bronk
And start the clock

Let’s get this rodeo going
I know I hit the dust the last time
And the time before
But that don’t matter now.
Today I’m ready to ride

Are the clowns back from their cigarette break?
And their town hall meetings
You can always count on the clowns
And I’m getting tired of sitting in this chute

So throw open the gate and let’s get this rodeo going
The crowd is restless and so is the horse
Wait a second. Wait a second
OK now
I’ve got my grip again
There was a time I thought I’d never get back on
But here I am
And sooner than I thought
Sooner than I could
Sooner than I hoped

That’s the rodeo
One day you’re down
The next day you’re back
So we never stop or think about the bruises
And we always count on the clowns

So let’s get this rodeo going. Now