Bad Calls

Bad Calls
© 2009 by Tarzana Joe

Some teams, they get the garlands
And some teams get their lumps
And those that take the losses
Often blame it on the umps

Unless I’m quite mistaken
This, more than former Falls
Has seen a certain surplus
Of quite questionable calls

The fans in Minnesota
They all quote Shakespeare there
Like Macbeth, they know
That fair is foul and foul is fair

And down in Athens, Georgia
They sure know who to blame
A penalty that never was
Just cost their Dawgs a game

Oh! Just like Justice
Refs are blind!
The cloth of Fairness ravels
Manny never takes a strike
And Kobe never travels

I say this most sincerely
My friends, my fans, my brothers
While all bad calls are awful
Some sure are worse than others

The baddest of the bad ones
If I may share my views
Is one the White House braintrust made
To battle with Fox News

Every day they protest
In words both crass and callow
Whining makes the whiner look
Poor and weak and shallow

Sun Tzu told his master
Know when you begin
Never fight a war
That gains you nothing if you win

Take a moment’s measure
Use that mighty brain
Even if you conquer
Tell me what you think you’d gain

Yes, even if you triumphed
And a network lay destroyed
Drudge and Breitbart—Hugh and I
Would quickly fill the void

So focus on YOUR message
Think WHAT and WHY and HOW
And that’s the lesson you could learn
From good old Chariman Mao