Holy Thursday

I am sitting at the table
Waiting for dinner to be served
It’s a big traditional spread
Someone brings out bread
It looks good but I’m told to wait for the blessing

It’s been a great week.
The crowds were big and steady
Why can’t we eat, already?

We’re all here but we’re waiting for Him
And no one seems to know the hour He’s coming

Wine is poured; but again, I’m told to wait for the blessing

Then He comes in; He says a prayer and finally we eat
(Someone says something about feet.)

Everyone is talking and having a good time
Until He says, Tonight, I will be betrayed by one of you.”

And suddenly, I am certain that he is talking about me.

-Tarzana Joe Easter 2011

Everything you Know

You’ve often heard me sing this song
But everything you know is wrong
So folks,
Be sure your surgeon is a seventh day Adventist
And if a friend gives you a horse
First take it to the dentist

Roses aren’t really red
And cows are never holy
If life hands you some lemons
Why not make some guacamole

And while we all may criticize
We never should condemn
These folks that run our Congress
Who spell BILLION with an “M”

For what you fail to realize
You poorly laundered masses
Is what is simply obvious
To all the ruling classes

Your government may clearly be
The world’s most willing debtor
But send them more of what you make
‘cause they can spend it better

Just so you’ll understand it
Let me further your instruction
What once was called a tax increase
Is now spending reduction

They learned from California
How to do just what they please
Where they can’t raise your taxes
So the simply call them fees

For years these guys have studied
And are brilliantly inventive
A surcharge is no penalty
Consider it incentive

So when you nod each morning
Or you rise and shine each night
Everything you know is wrong
And what is wrong –it right.