Regulations

Despite the constant chorus of
Small business protestations
Everyone in Washington
Is making regulations

On everything from lightbulbs
To bovine flatulations

Our SUVs are way too big
Our thermostats too high
They legislate and regulate
And we all must comply

They monitor our movements
Our e-mails and our text
I hesitate to speculate
On what they’ll tackle next

Before they put restrictions on
Our toe jam, sweat and phlegm
I think we ought to drop a few
Decrees on top of them

No costly perks
No perky clerks
No overdrafts, no franking
And if you tweet your private parts
You get a public spanking

No quoting your opponent
Unless they really said it
No voting on a brand new bill
Unless you really read it

No feeding at the public trough
From now until futurity
Your Pension Plan, I hereby ban
Enjoy Social Security

No island-hopping missions
With trading delegations
Where nothing is accomplished
And seem like paid vacations

Your fawning staff
We cut in half
And please don’t think me callous
You’ll still get your prescription plan
But just not your Ciallis

For those who think my edicts
Deserve disdain and slander
Remember when your goose is cooked
It’s time to stuff the gander

A Religious Test

I stand upon a perfect sphere
And gaze at the horizon
With nothing there to mar my view
Not building, bridge, or bison

I know there must be more
And I am sure you will agree
Beyond the smallish segment
Of this sphere that I can see

Then someone comes along
And asks me if I’ll take a pledge
That I know for a fact
Exactly what’s beyond the edge

I hesitate a moment
Then I softly say a prayer
And confidently state that I am certain
Something’s there.

Though what lies out there beyond
I never saw or laid a hand on
I know that it exists
For it completes the sphere I stand on

Each Sunday afternoon
I dedicate…about an hour
To a humble meditation
On this world’s transcendent power

I listen with attention
To the parson, priest or preacher
Reflect upon a man whose closest friends
Called him, “The Teacher”

I’ll attend with dedication
For as long as my knees bend
To get closer to the truths
That I may never comprehend

To understand a person’s soul
And measure them thereby
Never ask WHAT they believe
Rather, ask them WHY

Poems from the 9/11 Broadcast

The following poem about people who serve in the armed forces during Peacetime was a collaboration among the listeners to Hugh Hewitt's show who submitted bits of verse and personal stories. As Tarzana Joe, I tried to tie their reflections together. We did the project poem in August of 2011. Peacetime was about to end.

Peacetime
It can still happen as before
The threats may wane but never cease
Should we be sure in time of war
So they must serve in time of peace
For peace is such a fragile place
And such an easy thing to lose
A flash of lightning in the sky
A whispered rumor in the news

So who are these who volunteer?
Who give a day and then a year?
And then their lives by their own choices
Let us listen to their voices

We hump the boonies clad in green
We grunts who keep our honor clean
We stand in line; we do a job
We take our place for the good old mob

I signed up when I was 20 but knew it when I was ten
I wanted to be a soldier and serve like the fighting men
My father used to mention when he spoke in that certain way
And broke out the old mementos, on the 4th weekend in May

I was sent there to watch the ballots
On a cloudless, stifling morn
I was there at the birth of a nation
I was not when my son was born

I lost a dozen friendships; it was something I couldn’t explain
Why would a woman want to and what would a woman gain?

I have no foe to conquer but I’m keeping my rifle clean
I polish the brass and buckles and fight off the old routine
I don’t see the rocket’s glaring or the dawn’s revealing light
I just stand at my post and whisper, “Not here, Lord. And not tonight.”

I was on the plane that faltered
On a deck in a pitching sea
The printed my yearbook picture
Yes, America, that was me

They had no though of glory won
Just duty seen and duty done
The souls who serve in Peacetime
Is there a spot where I may sit?
A place where candles can be lit
To those that die in Peacetime
There is no monument it seems
For those who lose their breath and dreams
The souls we mourn in Peacetime
They’ve given more than their fair share
We offer them this simple prayer
God grant them Peacetime

By Tarzana Joe and the Hugh Hewitt audience


4 Questions
By Tarzana Joe
Spring will never come again
No April without pain
Each April the Emancipator's
Slain

Brothers, will there ever
Be a seven in December
When our sons will not
Remember? Remember?

November never passes
Unless I shed a tear
Year after Year after Year

And never in September
Will I look into the sky
Without asking the question
Why? Why? Why? Why?

Spoonerism Poem

Allow me to tell you a foly hable

The story of brothers, Ain and Cable

Now Cable lived life serene and mellow

But Ain was an angry and fealous jello



Ain wanted everything Even Steven

Just like their parents Ad and Even

But Cable had things a bittle letter

While Ain stitched up fig leaves, he swit a netter



Soon Cable’s slood ran in the boil

Ain shuffled him off this cortal moil

Now just as the next day had begun

God cried out for his savorite fon



In the sinning of man, God was well versed

He sought out Ain, but he weared the forst

“God, why do you think that Cable’s dead?

For all you know, he’s Bill in sted



“You know that Cable’s a heavy sleeper

And what am I anyway, my kother’s beeper?”

God put Ain out of the Arden of Geden

Despite the brother’s cries and pleadin’



Now here is the moral and hear it plain

Do nothing to merit the Cark of Main

Remember your lessons from Sunday School

And always live life by the Rolled in Ghoul

A Ban on Bans

Our overreaching nannies
Are sitting on their fannies
Hatching clever plans
And plotting lots more bans

It sets their hearts a’flutter
To banish guns and butter
So like Savonarola
They’ve come for Coca Cola

And in their righteous zeal
With joy they can’t conceal
Say, “ If we can we should
It’s all for your own good

They’ve stripped the glue from stamps
And incandescent lamps
Which changed the world like fire
Are now like a pariah

If San Francisco Councilpersons get their wish
Aquariums in town will be bereft of fish
Now in their wildest dreams even the reddest commies
Never saw the need to confiscate Gouramies

Bloomberg and his ilk
Might seek to outlaw silk
For in the clearest terms
It’s unfair to the worms

Well, friends I’ve had my fill
I’m drawing up a bill
With an attached exhibit
Of stuff we must prohibit

Stickers on our fruit
And Congressmen who toot
The colleagues who defend them
I know just where to send them

If it were up to me
Reality TV
I’d banish and consign
To some abandoned mine

Those loud and vulgar ladies
I’d send the straight to Hades
And stack on distant shelves
All shows where people weigh themselves

From now till I’m departed
My friends I’ve only started
I’ll make it my life’s mission
To outlaw…prohibition

I Wish I was a Congressman in D.C.

I want to be a Congressman
I want to oh so bad
I hear it is the best job
Any person ever had

I will be so focused
I’ll start right now, today
Assembling credentials
To fill out my resume

And this will be the method
That daily I pursue
I’ll do the very things that I’ve heard
Congresspersons do

I’ll make a lot of money first
But won’t pay any taxes
And then I’ll take some photos
Where I’m not wearing my slacks-es

I’ll obfuscate and prattle
To hide my true beliefs
But let the country know
If I wear boxer shorts or briefs

I’ll write some regulations
And say that I’m all for ‘em
But in my private life
You know that I’ll ignore ‘em

I’ll get myself a roommate
A fine upstanding fellow
Then let him use my condo
To run a nice bordello

I’ll live the Life of Reilly
Just like a little Caesar
And if I’m short on money
I’ll just reach into my freezer.

I want to be a Congressman
I want to oh so bad
I hear it is the best job
Any person ever had

Memorial Saturday on Wilshire Blvd

The scouts arrive at 7
A simple ceremony
Shorter than you expect it to be
The flags are given out
And each scout finds his line of stones

Press the flag into the ground
Read out the name on the marker
Salute

86 thousand times in the morning
86 thousand times

As if a rich spring rain has brought the flowers out
Old glory blossoms everywhere at once

And next year, they will return at 7
The time between has passed as if we only slept the night

And boys are men
Coming here again
To have their names read out
Saluted by a scout

Unarmed

Those with sensitivity
Have been a bit alarmed
And feel restraint’s required
If someone is unarmed

Perhaps the legendary DUKE
Depicted it the best
“Fair is Fair” and “Face to Face”
The Code that Won the West

So that the cause of Justice
Endures and stays unharmed
I’d like to give a tribute
To those who died unarmed

The stewardess
The passenger
The child in her embrace
Who didn’t know the enemy
Or wrong him face to face

The fireman
The file clerk
The guy from out of town
Who couldn’t plead for mercy
Before the walls came down

We stand with all the innocents
Wherever they may be
And praise the strength and justice of
United 93

I don’t know every nuance
Within our Constitution
I don’t know where they’re written
The Laws of Retribution

But when the scales of Justice tilt
And need a little fix
To put them back in balance
Just call on Seal Team Six

Holy Thursday

I am sitting at the table
Waiting for dinner to be served
It’s a big traditional spread
Someone brings out bread
It looks good but I’m told to wait for the blessing

It’s been a great week.
The crowds were big and steady
Why can’t we eat, already?

We’re all here but we’re waiting for Him
And no one seems to know the hour He’s coming

Wine is poured; but again, I’m told to wait for the blessing

Then He comes in; He says a prayer and finally we eat
(Someone says something about feet.)

Everyone is talking and having a good time
Until He says, Tonight, I will be betrayed by one of you.”

And suddenly, I am certain that he is talking about me.

-Tarzana Joe Easter 2011

Everything you Know

You’ve often heard me sing this song
But everything you know is wrong
So folks,
Be sure your surgeon is a seventh day Adventist
And if a friend gives you a horse
First take it to the dentist

Roses aren’t really red
And cows are never holy
If life hands you some lemons
Why not make some guacamole

And while we all may criticize
We never should condemn
These folks that run our Congress
Who spell BILLION with an “M”

For what you fail to realize
You poorly laundered masses
Is what is simply obvious
To all the ruling classes

Your government may clearly be
The world’s most willing debtor
But send them more of what you make
‘cause they can spend it better

Just so you’ll understand it
Let me further your instruction
What once was called a tax increase
Is now spending reduction

They learned from California
How to do just what they please
Where they can’t raise your taxes
So the simply call them fees

For years these guys have studied
And are brilliantly inventive
A surcharge is no penalty
Consider it incentive

So when you nod each morning
Or you rise and shine each night
Everything you know is wrong
And what is wrong –it right.

President 44, Where are you?

The Blimp of State’s been punctured
We all can hear it hissing
We need someone to guide us
But the President is missing.

He’s filling out his brackets
And planning his vacations
And counting on the good advice
Of those United Nations
It’s clear that he’s committed to
Atrocity abatement
T o show that he means business
He’s issued a strong statement
The forces are converging
And coming to a crunch
Just when the world could use him
The guy is out to lunch
All across the desert
They’re dying in the sand
Can those guys up in Oslo
Call back their hundred grand?

Economies are tumbling
The workers are enraged
The fellow in the White House
Is otherwise engaged
Governors are calling
They’re cutting to the bone
The President is indisposed
And can’t come to the phone
The crowd is growing restless
And daily getting louder
We’re looking for our leader
But I think he took a powder

Is this the job you wanted?
Then step into the fray
Or did you only run
So you could pad your resume?
The darling North Koreans
Abandoned their disarming
The Fed is printing money
At a rate that is alarming
The price of gas is surging
There’s trouble at the border
Can someone who’s in charge
Get their priorities in order?

Egypt

Among the best and deepest urges
That in the human spirit surges
That we declare come each July
Is called the sound of Freedom’s cry

And if that urge is long suppressed
If grievances are unaddressed
Eventually it overheats
And spills into the squares and streets

Around the globe, the rumbles thunder
Hidden from the thumbs they’re under
Secret and beyond the light
Till finally, the moment’s right

When suddenly, the crowd assembles
And in his castle, Herod trembles
Like any tyrant that existed
Sensing what can’t be resisted

And those who’ve tasted freedom’s flavor
Watch, and every moment savor
Mindful of the lives now lost
Well aware of Freedom’s cost

What moment makes the masses follow?
Rejecting what they once would swallow
Why are they now with courage fitted
Rebelling, when they once submitted?

Could it be what spurred these labors
Was Democracy among their neighbors?

Yes, I know the way is muddy
Yes, I know that battle’s bloody
Yes, I know that when this ends
No one there may call us friends

History’s full of revolutions
That lead to no long-term solutions
Where all men call each other brother
And oust one tyrant for another

The lesson’s there for all who’ll learn it
Freedom comes to those who earn it

A Moment of Silence, please

Following catastrophes
Of nature or of violence
It’s fitting to observe them with
A span or two of silence

For stillness is appropriate
Beyond what words convey
And silence is more eloquent
Than what I have to say

So take that slip of silence with you
Where your spirit’s stored
And spend a quiet moment
With the one you call your Lord

Give thanks for all the graces that
Are spread across your way
And ask for strength and courage
To go on another day

Before you call again upon
The speaker and the singer
Ask for the ability
To let the silence linger

Lend that silent moment
All the patience you can give
For out there in the silence
Is where the missing live

Life is full of mysteries
OF sorrows and of joys
The soul lives on in silence
The rest…is noise.


(c) 2011 Tarzana Joe

Happy New Year

It seems as I get older
The year end’s hurley-burlier
The days are flying faster
And New Year’s Eve comes earlier

My memory is going
My brain has clear defects
I’ve still been known to write
2009 on all my checks

The year has been a good one
Although I swear it’s shorter
The Lord has kept us working
And our heads above the war-ter

At my mound of bills my fists
I’m shaking in defiance
Thanks to the Hugh Hewitt Show
And thanks to all my clients

It’s time to make some statements
And though the rule allows
I won’t make resolutions
Instead I’ll make some vows

I’ll learn to speak a language
And learn to act my age
And once a week I promise to
Update my Facebook page

Before the sparkling vintage
Of next New Years is sipped
I’ll polish off that novel
And finish up that script

And with new motivation
My wife will greet with glee
I’ll find some way to publish the
Collected Works of me!

If we show perseverance
Our vows will all come true
So say a prayer for TJ
And I’ll say a prayer for you

Let’s toast the coming New Year
And lift that class of wine
And raise a cup of kindness
To Hugh and Auld Lang Syne

Christmas 2010

Let me take this opportunity
To recollect the reason
Why, from the dawn of history
We celebrate this season

In the summer and the autumn
We’ve been filling up the larder
Well aware that in the winter
Air is colder; life is harder

So we gather to recall…
No matter how the wind is blowing
Our confident belief that
Things will, once again, be growing

And we toast that understanding
With a wealth of sparkling fluids
In an annual observance
That goes right back to the Druids

So we all agree that people
Like to party when it freezes
And I understand you’re asking
What this has to do with Jesus

By the fall of Eve and Adam
God and man were coldly parted
But thru Christmas there’s a way
Back to the garden where it started

We may celebrate too early
We may celebrate too late
But we gather in the glory
Of the reason and the date

From the leaves of the poinsettia
To the trees that give us myrrh
To the garland and the holly
To the spruce and noble fir

For amidst the whitest Christmas
Sights that are the most enchanted
Are the living testimonials
Of the life that we’ve been granted

With a faith that is unshaken
From the Son who lives inside us
What the ancients only hoped for
We are sure God will provide us

So I’ll say it very plainly
Just as angels said it then
Merry Christmas to us all
Peace on Earth. Good Will to Men.

(c) 2010 Tarzana Joe

A Good Speech, bettered

For years it was the same old story
Our politicians, young or hoary
From every clan or category
Lacked the gift of oratory

I sure liked “W” a lot
He plainly put forth what was what
And what you saw was what you got
A great communicator? Not.

All the Courics and the Lauers
Ooohed and Aaahed and scattered flowers
At Clinton’s oratorical powers
And then he spoke for six more hours

At last the folks were keen to tune in
Amidst the markets wreck and ruinin’
To hear someone like Reagan croonin’
The words of Robinson and Noonan

So with the country so adrift
And looking for a little lift
“Give us change and make it swift”
Came one who claimed he had the gift

Between the risings and revolts
The daily drams of jars and jolts
Came language like a thousand volts
And when he finished—thunderbolts

Now two years later we have seen
What he said he didn’t mean
Plus the wit is not so keen
Unless he reads it from a screen

And so I urge him to think twice
You know we all must sacrifice
I’ll make it clear and quite concise
I offer now this good advice

Recall when Johnson thrilled the nation
The speech that earned him an ovation
Contained the famous peroration
I will not seek the nomination

(c)2010 Tarzana Joe

This is How I Feel Today

I thought I heard a story
While sailing on my yacht
The President’s for tax cuts
But Jim DeMint is not

Reliable Joe Biden
Whose voice the wise man heeds
Says tax rates from the George Bush years
Are what this country needs

If this is all a nightmare
Then don’t let me awaken
I feel as if I’m living in
A snow globe that’s been shaken

The news is so confusing
From print or talk or text
That I don’t have inkling
Of what might happen next

In fact it won’t surprise me
Or jar me in the least
If late tomorrow evening
The sun set in the East

I couldn’t be more astonished
I’m sure that you’d agree
To see in the Plain Dealer that
The Tribe had signed Cliff Lee

We’re all in full agreement
The situation’s heinous
Because all politicians
Revere and worship Janus

Despite the plans they’re backing
Or paths on which they’re walking
It’s never really clear out of which Orifice they’re talking

I’d never mean to be shrill Cassandra
Or a warner
It fascinates to see them all
Backed up into a corner


Those Senators and Congressmen
They thought they were so clever
But tax rates that expire
Were the worst damn ideas ever

So now we’re at an impasse
Debates that have no ending
Better bring the gavel down
It’s our dough that you’re spending

The best and all the brightest
A caucus full of smarties
RatsaFratsaFratsaGrrr
A plague on both your parties

Not a Poem, Ted Turner

News Item: Ted Turner urges world to adopt "one-child" policy to save the planet; suggests poor couples could opt to remain childless and sell their fertility rights.

I have never been more outraged and disgusted by anything I have ever heard in my life. What if I am a poor unmarried man or woman or a person in a gay partnership. Shouldn't I be able to sell my fertility rights? Where's my cut of the "save the planet" cash? What if I represent the estate of a child, dead before puberty? Shouldn't I be able to sell the fertility rights of the estate to some rich guy who selfishly wants a second child? What's that about? What if I am born with a birth defect that renders me sterile? Why should I be discriminated against because of my disability? Where is the fairness here!?

I don't think Ted Turner has thought this out enough. First, which of his children does he plan to keep and which does he intend to sacrifice to the Mayan Jaguar Goddess? I only have one child so I'm safe but what if his generation decides to adopt a one-parent policy?

The Ambassador's Portfolio

There is no place to hide
Nowhere to run from life’s assailants
No matter where you go, you know
You’re subject to surveillance

Each one of us a target
Like we’re prey before the hunt
The world’s been taken over
By the sons of Allen Funt

Big Brother is a menace
Yes, a threat that’s like no other
But now we learn that someone
Has been spying on Big Brother

A fellow, quite disgruntled
Is about to be indicted
For all the secret cables
He discretely Carbonited

Because of his transgression
Trusts were broken, bridges burned
We’d better take a moment
To review the lessons learned

A word is as explosive
As a canon that’s been loaded
So if you’re going to spread the word
It better be encoded

Don’t tell what you’ve been thinking
‘Till your thoughts have been refined
No rule says that you have to
Speak all thoughts that cross your mind

Silence has great value
As discretion is a token
That the insights truly priceless
Are the ones we leave unspoken

From what seems the slightest slip up
Dire consequences loom
Say only what you’d say
With Mata Hari in the room

Lips were clearly loosened
By the brew that they were drinking
And all across the planet
Ships of State are sinking
Big Brother may be watching
But he really isn’t thinking

Thanksgiving 2010

While thanking God this week for all our blessings is the norm
I say we should be thankful for the calm and for the storm
For the things that seem a hazard, when we think about them longer
Are somehow, by the will of God, designed to make us stronger
If saying you’re surviving is the best that you can boast
Such times give us reflection to perceive what matters most
And so, I’m doubly grateful for the blessings and the curses
And humbly I acknowledge both my good and better verses
I thank Him for the grace that pumps the heart that keeps me living
And all the things I’ve done in life—I thank him for forgiving
The hand of God has fashioned this broad universe of beauty
And thanking him for all of it--is our pleasure and our duty
But more than for creation—for the thorn and for the lotus
We ought to thank Him most for all the things we’ve yet to notice.

More important than the News!

If you need me to exhort you
To get on out and vote
Then you’re not paying attention
Or you didn’t get the note

The issues are titanic
And the moment is immense
So vote early and vote often
If you folks have any sense

Instead of the election, friends
The subject that I choose
Is the most amazing story
I encountered in the news

For the duty of a poet
If my patron will allow
Is to see into the future
Out beyond the here and now

This week’s great revelation
Which surpasses any issue
Kleenex introduces
The roll-less toilet tissue

Now before discerning users
Criticize the stuff or pan it
Please understand this product
Is designed to save the planet

While this kind of innovation
Might be lost on average Joes
It is hailed as messianic
By you fans of Sheryl Crow’s

For humanity is threatened
And the cosmic claxon tolls
From the danger that’s presented
By those little cardboard roll

And this is just the vanguard
Of a trend that I see startin’
Why, soon they’ll all be selling
Quarts of milk without the carton

So all of you progressives
No matter how you’re feeling
After the election
Rest assured the planet’s healing

Show me the Money

The High Court says that
Legal Students
Should learn from foreign
Jurisprudence

And foreign films
Will sure excite
Some smiles on
A Summer Night

And the elite
Cum habitude
Prefer the taste
Of foreign food
(And foreign beer
To pale home-brewed)

And Buick, now
Thanks to those Czars
Claims Germans
Engineer their cars

They say
Our greatest institutions
Are blessed by
Foreign contributions

For Liberals take
A global view
Unlike you simple red-necks do

They understand
The French should vet
The spot your thermostats
Are set

But this week,
If you hadn’t heard
“Foreign”
Is a dirty word

So if you run for office, Sonny
You ought not take
That foreign money

October Surprise

October Surprise

Sometimes, I think it’s frightening
Just as the polls are tightening
A scandal will explode on us
Just like a bolt of light-en-ing

Each time this month arises
In weird and wild disguises
A feast of treats are served up as
OCTOBER SURPRISES

The headlines, I’ve been scanning
For flames that need some fanning
To see if I can puzzle what
Politicos are planning

You know, it’s so uncanny
They search each nook and cranny
To see if their opponent has
A mistress – or a nanny!

It’s all they’ve been pursuing
Each resume reviewing
With their staff to polygraph
A candidates undoing

It’s not my jurisdiction
To winnow truth from fiction
Despite that fact and lacking tact
I will make a prediction

A thing quite unexpected
And as yet undetected
Will, with a shout be trotted out
To get someone elected

So when it does don’t shy away
And turn some gal or guy away
This Congress needs reversing
So let’s show them bums the high-away

Don’t dare to be distracted
Recall all they enacted
Without these fights your bill of rights
Might see itself redacted….

Then won’t you be impacted.

(C) 2010 by Tarzana Joe (but please pass it on)

The Anti Bucket List

There are life coaches who insist
That each of us should make a list
Of places fair and meals exquisite
That we intend to eat or visit
Of all the things we want to do
Before our days on earth are through

Perhaps this is some sound advice
Don’t get me wrong—such lists are nice
But not as worthwhile undertaking
Or helpful as the list I’m making
I’m writing down; before I die
A list of things I’ll never try

So heed my words, if you’re disposed to
And hear the things I won’t get close to

I won’t attend an LA rave
Or spelunk in a bat-filled cave

I won’t conspire with any crooks
Or tell my wife how THAT dress looks

I won’t draw three cards to a flush
Or Facebook with a High School crush

Or turn away when someone needs me
Or ever bite the hand that feeds me

I won’t decline a fine cigar
Or let Mel Gibson drive my car

Or try to burn a book that’s holy
Or double-dip in guacamole

Or play a proper noun in Scrabble
Or ever miss a day of Drabble

Or ever cuss my dear old Granny
Or let Ms. Allred near my nanny

Or (this is how the poem ends)
Let Bob Woodward near my friends

© 2010 Tarzana Joe

Football Follies

Football Follies


There’s one thing about football
That makes fans cry for mercy
That something is the specter of
A quarterback controversy

With Rivers and Drew Brees there
The Chargers had too many
And then there are the Cleveland Browns
A team that don’t have any

No matter who you root for
Be you Redskin fan or Packer
No headlines question who will start
At left outside linebacker

And that’s because, forsooth and such
It is my strong submission
The quarterback is clearly
The most pivotal position

A weak one can do damage
Where the best game plans are laid
A good one leads his teammates
To a tickertape parade

And as I’ve been explaining
Every Sunday to my wife
Football is an excellent
Metaphor for life

If it weren’t so important
I wouldn’t kick up such a fuss
So stop and think a bit about
Who’s quarterbacking us

A guy who’s got his whole dang team
In such a sorry muddle
An inexperienced journeyman
Who’d never seen a huddle

A fellow lacking so much
We can’t say what his worst lack is
A guy who just can’t make the throws
That’s who our quarterback is

But we’ll just have to play him
Well, what else can we do?
Look who’s backing up the guy
At depth chart number 2

Let’s hope the reputation
Of our team is not diminished
When his tenure here is over
And his four year deal is finished.

© 2010 Tarzana Joe